A minimum of liability

All my life I have been extremely responsible. I cleaned my room without being asked (aside from a brief lapse during high school when I decided that the piles of clothes scattered around my room added a lovely touch of courtesy), I write letters and notes, keep on top of homework for assigned to me, and look after the welfare of others. If I say that I will be somewhere or I will do something or I will do something, I will, although sometimes with some complaints, but also with the idea in mind that I offered or chose to say yes, for which I must be responsible and comply.

Responsibility is a wonderful characteristic to possess. I’m organized and neat, and while some cabinets are crooked and the garage is stacked to the point where a car and truck squeeze together without an inch to spare, I can still find whatever I’m looking for with a little digging. . The refrigerator and cabinets are full, clean sheets cover all guest beds so the company can come in at any time, the garden is mowed, bills are paid, and my schedule (a constant companion) is filled with all the events of my day, week. , month and year. People know that they can count on me to get things done and so they ask freely why their request will be fulfilled. Others demand, and I must freely admit it, because they know they can count on me.

And so, I have determined that I am about to make a big change in life. Research claims this is impossible as we are who we are and therefore should make the most of it, but I acknowledge my free will and therefore believe I will put it into practice. No, I will not exclude liability in its entirety. That would make life quite difficult. But I’m taking the small steps necessary to keep it to a minimum, just a little, an ounce, and a pinch. How will I do this?

First, I have created a two column list where one side is responsibilities that I love and the other is responsibilities that I love but just don’t have the time and energy to complete. You see, being responsible by nature I accept that everything I assume I love just a drop because adventure and pleasing others are ingrained. But I also realize that I have overshot the volunteer, offering, and order tracking category, so my little initial step is to shrink it down to a feasible size. The two lists are roughly the same length and that’s a beautiful image, knowing that by cropping the right column I now have twice the life.

Second, I have established a daily routine of practicing the word “No”. It is easy enough to say, but it is difficult to comply. Being a woman yes, a constant movement of the head up and down, it is difficult to learn to say no (and say it with a minimum of verbiage “no”) and teach my head to turn from left to right. right and vice versa. A prepared speech is a must because I have found that in most of my first encounters with a “No” spoken, the conversation returned to the point where I had accepted more jobs rather than fewer. For example, I tried to quit an organization and ended up being courted to take triple the responsibility. My no was evidently lacking in strength and workability.

Finally, my “no” answers will be personal and therefore face-to-face when possible or at least over the phone. An email is an easy escape, but it lacks strength and can be misinterpreted. “I cannot accept this responsibility” can be taken as “But I will enthusiastically complete another 97 jobs.” It doesn’t have to mean no, whatever happens. That is one of the best facets of a face-to-face meeting is the opportunity to read the other’s face and plan my responses accordingly. However, verbal conciseness is not a talent I possess, which is why I tend to wander and add verbiage and end up with, you guessed it, more responsibility!

My three-step triangular approach is positive, designed for success, and therefore I believe it can be done. Okay, my first two practice sessions didn’t go as planned, as in one case my job provider got mad and doesn’t speak to me anymore and in the other my dismissal turned into something out of the box when I wanted to say I didn’t have new responsibilities. Not all of those. But in both cases I will survive and thrive because now I have entered a new phase of life with just a minimum, just a drop, just a little responsibility. No more overhead for me.