Damage control: how to recover after binge drinking

You’re at a Christmas party, you’ve had too many drinks, and things are quickly starting to get out of hand. You’ve scolded your annoying co-worker, hit up with your boss’s boyfriend, you’re dancing on the table while simultaneously yelling your rendition of Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing, and you’ve managed to call your ex drunk and leave a bunch of drunk voicemails professing your love. You wake up the next morning to some angry messages on your answering machine and also realize that you somehow managed to control your dignity at the door last night along with your coat.

You have a colossal hangover; you drink a big glass of water and drink Alieve. You are now ready to take a moment to assess the damage. Let’s face it, we’ve all had those moments where we look back at what we did the night before and get embarrassed. If you are one of the lucky ones who has never experienced this phenomenon, don’t worry, you can be sure that your time will come. With successful damage control, you can manage to save your life and maybe even keep your friends and your job in the process.

Take it from a girl who has had to do her fair share of damage control after complete and utter social humiliation and / or suicide. I have learned some lessons from my drunken stupor that have proven to be invaluable. While I wouldn’t exactly say I’d do it all over again if I could, I can say that I haven’t made the same mistake twice. When I say repeat, I am using the term very loosely, as I have committed a variety of different crimes while intoxicated.

To obtain my redemption, I have learned that there are steps involved in successful damage control. These said steps are as follows:

1. Acknowledge your mistake. (If you can’t remember the mistake / mistakes you made, call a friend or someone who was there and get all the gory details.) Contrary to popular belief, ignoring the situation and acting as if it never happened will not make it go away. And it will actually make it worse and attract more attention.

2. Apologize. Ounce. Sincerely. Anything more than an apology is counterproductive and will not help your cause. Also, in my personal experiences, I have found that this works best with some humor and / or wit in the apology.

3. Be able to laugh at yourself and poke fun at your ridiculousness. Taking yourself too seriously or dwelling on the situation will only make things worse and make others forget about it.

4. Don’t be a repeat offender. Practice self-control and know your alcohol limit. Resist the urge to have the next drink or drink. Nothing is worse than the person who repeatedly drinks to the stage of functional blackout. And no one wants to be repeatedly apologized for the same offense over and over again. (This might be the most important step of the four because most people are more willing to forgive the first time, when a second misstep has been made, it becomes questionable.)

Follow and complete these steps and ninety-nine percent of the time you will have ensured damage control success.

Remember: we all make mistakes and no one is perfect. It is not the end of the world and you are not going to die even if you feel that way at the time. Most of the time, most people can appreciate their situation because they have been there before and most of the time they will show you some compassion and empathy.