dating a serial cheater? How Serial Cheaters Can Seduce You

Serial cheaters are not always easy to spot. They are sincere, seductive and charming. A woman I know met someone she instantly liked. After two dates, I was electrified. The chemistry was so intense that she couldn’t see the signs of deceit written on his forehead. Blinded by her charisma, she didn’t recognize that she was just one girl in a long succession of girls. When she found out that he was cheating on her with other women she thought he was also in love with, she lamented, “All men cheat. I’ve never met one who didn’t.”

If you’re attracting cheaters, it will help if you notice the behavior patterns you both have BEFORE you get involved. You can’t operate alone. You are his achievement. This statement is not meant to blame, but rather to help you understand that you do not have to remain a target. You have control over your life. How does it seduce you?

1. Dressed for success: Attracting the wrong guy.

Cheaters like to date certain types of women. If you’re out with your girlfriends and looking to attract a guy by the way you dress and the way you act, sexy clothes and flirty conversations will get you what you say you don’t want: a cheater.

2. The cheater notices you.

Serial cheaters have an instinct for who to make a move on. He sends you a drink to your table or comes to ask your name. He makes you feel special. Before you know it, you’ll be spending the night talking, dancing, probably drinking and having an affair. You can show him money, tell him how successful he is, or offer to drive you home in your new car. He pays the bill, tells you how beautiful you are, wants to see you the next night, and calls you several times a day. It is slowly persistent. You feel validated; you feel in control.

3. A cheater accelerates the relationship.

The infidel who wants to go out with you has a behavioral ritual that he repeats over and over again. If he immediately says, “I love you and I’ve never felt this way before,” believe me, he has said this before. If he talks about getting you a ring, where you could buy a house and live, and how he’s always wanted children, this is too fast. He is seeking to bind you and exert control over your life. If he is rich, he is willing to pay for this control by bringing you gifts and helping you with your daily expenses. Once you get used to this financial relief, it will be difficult for you to fire him when you discover that he is cheating on you. He knows this.

4. The cheater knows you are vulnerable.

Cheaters instinctively know that you may have just come out of a crisis in your life. The death of someone close to you, going through a divorce, or your boyfriend leaving you can leave you feeling reeling. You are even more susceptible to a cheating or abusive man if you come from an abusive home or relationship. If you lack the family support you need, he will play into your vulnerability. His approach is to get you to open up emotionally and share your problems. He offers understanding, warmth, and a comforting sense that he wants to take care of you. Of course, your shoulder to lean on comes at a price.

5. The cheater feels like you are trying to be an adult in a scary world.

Serial cheaters can tell when you pretend to the world that you have it all under control, but the fact is you probably don’t have enough money, enough support staff around you, and enough safety net below you to feel safe. . Instead of spending your time and effort studying for a degree and a better job, you may find yourself working a job that doesn’t pay enough and isn’t going to get you anywhere. When the serial charmer shows up, you want to BELIEVE IT. You don’t want to see the lies and patterns. You spend whatever time you have left at the end of the day trying to make a relationship work and it never goes anywhere.

6. The infidel goes out with others and when you find out, you are outraged.

Thinking that you are exclusively dating the cheater, you discover, sooner or later, that he has lied and cheated on you. You might see him go out with someone else, read his email that you weren’t supposed to see, listen to his phone messages, or get a call from his other girlfriend. You cry, he apologizes and offers you promises he just can’t keep. He showers you with gifts and you start the process all over again. This cycle continues until months…or years…later, you’ve had enough.

Dating a cheater can change your life, but you don’t have to stop there. If you recognize this pattern in your relationship, there is hope. Old patterns can be broken and you can have happiness instead of drama. Learn to spot the serial cheater before they cross the room.

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