Family Conflicts – Me, Myself and Others – How Do I See the Divine in Others?

We received a series of emails from a troubled soul who had been having relationship problems with his family. Shanaya had been tasked with the responsibility of maintaining a family estate in the hills and she had been doing very well. Some of her relatives had been criticizing her for not doing a job on time because they needed to visit friends there and some maintenance work was pending.

The delay was not Shanaya’s fault. Some nasty things were said, some slurs were thrown around, and she resigned her position as caretaker of the estate. She obviously found the lack of understanding painful and troubling.

We wrote to her advising her not to abdicate her responsibility, while giving her specific guidance, and she responded with a change of mood. With the darkness gone, Shanaya returned to her caregiving responsibilities with the support of her family. We are glad we were able to help you.

Shanaya, a student of Vedanta philosophy, sought to understand this theme of relationship in the context of what she had been studying.

“I wonder… and I digress. I keep reading in the Gita and in the discourses about it, and in general in what the saints and gurus have said that one should recognize the divinity in other beings. Sometimes I find it very difficult . And sometimes downright impossible. Please guide me, Shanaya.”

“Does God, or the Divine, create our life situations?”

We see that the situations that are presented to us to face them come from my accumulated balance of action or karma from the past. The karmic balance that is delivered to me is through the agency of the Divine witness. The Divine is not an initiator of such actions, but only reminds us that we have asked for this in the past.

When we realize the divinity within us, only then can we effectively see the divine in others. If I don’t have something that is ‘divine’ inside, why will I see it in others? I can only see in others what I have a reference sample of within. I can’t recognize what I don’t see anymore.

Divinity is present in everyone but not very visibly active. In any situation, if we connect with the divine within ourselves and within each other, we can connect with the truth of our relationships.

Our actions are our responsibility

The actions of the divine are not one with the individual, but are always separate and disconnected from what the individual does. In the same way our actions are not the responsibility of the divine, but only ours. The results of our actions must come back to us.

So even an animal has the divine element in it, but we cannot assume that the animal or the individual is ‘as good as the divine’ because the divine chooses to live with that individual. That is only the grace of the divine.

So the animal can hurt us and we cannot say that the divine is ‘responsible’. At the same time, the divine is guiding the animal to deliver the stored results of our karma to us. The divine is also guiding us on what we can do to mitigate our suffering and ultimately fully heal our karmic balance. Our lack of sukriti (pious activity), a shortage of pure spiritual karmic bank balance, and an active false ego prevent us from accessing this higher wisdom.

Seeing the divine in myself and in others frees me from pain

I, my higher self and the other person are all connected through the divine element. So much can we change our karmic balance by various methods, so much we benefit from and are able to connect with the divine in ourselves and in others. By connecting with the divine within us, we reduce pain.

Being free from pain gives a clear mind with which we can improve the course of our lives. A clear mind also means that ego factors are not coloring our vision as much. When we are able to recognize that just as there is a divine element within us, the other also has a divine element within him. This understanding calms us and allows us to conclusively deal with the problems we face.

If we do this right, then there is no residue of pain or discomfort left in our tomorrow. Our daily experience is enhanced and we are much more aware of the blessings of the divine that are always with us.

Being aware of this makes the daily experience one of happiness and joy.