Growing up black in America – University

Going to college as a black American is something many are not prepared for. Unfortunately, in many of our homes, our parents didn’t have the benefit of a college education, so they don’t see the same value that many other cultures see in getting a higher education. For some, the only criteria in life is to get a job and support themselves and their family.

When I graduated from high school, my sister had just completed her second year of college. While I was planning my next steps, we had a family meeting (my parents and my sister). At that time, my father was the only person working and his company had just closed, so finances were very tight. I can still see the pain in my parents’ eyes as we had the conversation; “Son, we think college is a great thing, but honestly, we can’t afford to put you and your sister through college. She’s 2 years away from completing her degree and you’re just starting out. We want to help you both, but We can’t financially.”

For the first time in my life, I was faced with an adult financial decision. I’m sure I could have made a fuss and my parents would have divided their limited resources between us. The only challenge was that my sister was already doing work studies at her university, so she didn’t have time to work anymore and still maintain her GPA. I told my parents, “I understand the situation we’re in and I appreciate everything you’ve done to help us get an education. Don’t worry about college for me. I’ll figure something out. Let’s just make sure my sister can finish it.” “. hers last 2 years of hers.” By the time we finished the meeting, we all knew the decision was a wise one, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

I applied to a local college that I could attend and not incur the costs of living on campus. My goal was to minimize expenses as much as possible. The first semester was very hard for me. I didn’t get support at school because everywhere I went for help I was told “you’re on your own here. You have to make it work. It’s not our job to help you make it work.” He wasn’t used to that kind of response but sure, it was college.

The second semester, my financial aid was ruined for some reasons I never understood, so I didn’t get enough to cover my books. I tried to get my hands on used books, substitute other resources, etc. I was so discouraged by the lack of support I received and as a result my grades struggled. From that moment I made 2 decisions; First, I would get a full-time job and be able to pay for books next semester, and second, I would never be in a place where I needed others to help me continue my education. My university was not the ideal place to seek help if you needed it.

I transferred and the second year I enrolled in business school to get a degree in Accounting. I got a job as a bookkeeper which I had for a couple of years. I got married and dropped out of school. As my family grew, I realized that my income would never increase with just an Associate’s degree. I wanted more but didn’t see how to get it. My wife (bless her heart) was a stay-at-home mom. She told me look, you can never do better for us as long as your education limits the types of jobs you can get. So you work and enroll in classes part time until you get your degree. I’ll explain to the kids, I know with them and take care of the house. You focus on getting better so we can all do better.”

I did. I took classes at night and got my bachelor’s and master’s degrees. My income improved as I was able to compete in a very competitive job market with experience and education on my resume. My wife was a black woman who also grew up in a home where her parents did not have a college degree. But she was smart enough to know that I could get mine if I had some support at home to get me through it. It was the first time that I really felt that someone was on my side and believed in my potential.

Going to college as a black American is hard. Not many people support your dreams. You don’t have many role models and as long as you’re working, things seem to be fine. But to excel in life you need to have skills that are marketable. I was never good with my hands, so manual labor was not going to work for me. But I was good at using my head. I just needed someone who believed in me enough to see that I too could excel in life.