Meeting your ex boyfriend when you want him back

The first time you see your ex after they broke up with you is going to be very emotional. If you’re looking to get back together with him, you’ll probably be very nervous. And whether or not he’s looking to fix your breakup, he’s also going to be nervous. Although you probably spoke on the phone or via email, this is the first physical contact you have with your ex in a long time. The fights and arguments that probably ended their relationship have faded, leaving both of them with a clear head.

Reaching this point in your reconciliation is a good sign. Even if you (or your ex) set this up as a friendly lunch or cup of coffee, the fact that he’s here talking to you one-on-one definitely says something that he’s still potentially interested. If your boyfriend was gone, he probably wouldn’t be here. And if you think he’s sitting across from you just to “be your friend,” you’re dead wrong. He either wants to date you again or he wants the opportunity to date you again in the future. Of course, there is also the possibility that he is looking for a relationship with an ex-girlfriend… but that is a completely different situation.

When a man breaks up with you, it’s never final. There are always ways to get back together, regardless of the circumstances. But if you’ve been actively working to get your boyfriend back, chances are he’s here to at least listen to you. That is why you should arrive at the meeting date as prepared as possible.

First of all, stay away from any serious conversation. Don’t let small talk completely dominate things here (you don’t want it to bore him!), but at the same time you should avoid talking about your breakup at all. Try to read it, and see what you are feeling. If he speaks, listen. Do not interrupt. What he says is probably important, and you don’t want to miss out on it by jumping into a nervous and awkward conversation. If your ex mentions that he misses you, tell him that you feel the same way. If he mentions his past relationship, simply tell him that you wish things didn’t end the way they did. This opens the door for you, ever so slightly, to move on. You are letting him know that you are still interested, but without going overboard.

Above all, DO NOT apologize, even if you mean it. This is not the time or the place to repeat what happened between the two of you. Meeting your ex boyfriend for the first time after the breakup is all about making him feel comfortable with you. He’s happy to see you, and keep things light and casual. Chances are he’s happy too, and the two of you can fall back into that old familiarity of just being together. This is good, because it reminds him of what he was like until he dated you.

If all else fails and the conversation boils down to nothing more than small talk, you can try one last thing: retrieve a memory from the past. Think about the best time the two of you have had together and where you spent it. Bring it up casually: Tell him you passed by the place the other day and thought of him. Look what he does. If it looks awkward, back off a bit. But if he smiles and nods his head in acknowledgment, you’ve just planted a little seed in his head. Later, that seed will sprout a little by remembering those good times too. And so, you have him thinking of you again. Little steps!