My husband admitted that he does not enjoy my company and does not like being around me

Sometimes when you notice that you are fighting with your husband much more than usual, you will try to attribute it to stress or simply a losing streak. But when your husband admits a very painful and difficult truth, such as the fact that he would rather not be around you, he often has no choice but to face reality and deal with the matter at hand.

You may hear a wife say, “My husband and I had a big fight last night. I was arguing with him because for the third night in a row, he didn’t bother coming home for dinner. This is Disrespectful to my kids and me. myself and it really bothers me. My husband tried to deflect the situation for a few minutes by telling me that I was overdoing it. But I didn’t stop at the time. So he blurted out that he won’t come home because he doesn’t like being around me. I asked him what this was supposed to mean and he told me that my attitude had changed and that I am not the person I used to be. He is right about that. I admit that I am more nervous and worried more than I used to. But this is all his fault He made some horrible investments and now we are forced to pay back the money we don’t have. He did all of this behind my back. So I’m very stressed and worried. I imagine a scenario where we lose our home. And I admit that I frequently ask him. to my husband made some progress in our finances or in what he plans to do with the mess we are in. Says I knock it down all the time. He says that things are bad enough without me always paying attention to our problems and walking around the house like I do. I admit I’m probably not the life of the party these days. But I have a good reason to act like I am. This is your fault and you deserve it. If he wanted me to act in love and friendship with him, then he shouldn’t have wasted our money. “

I am not going to tell you that you have no right to be frustrated because it is absolutely true. But I think you need to be careful not to add marital problems to your list of things to worry about. I can’t argue with the fact that you are dealing with a stressful situation. Of course you are going to worry and be on the edge. And as a result, you may have a more bad temper than usual. But I think it makes perfect sense to try and find other ways to let this out instead of being harsh on your husband.

I don’t mean to imply that he doesn’t owe you a huge apology or that there should be no consequences for his actions. But, think about it for a second. Your main concern here is your family. You don’t want your money mistakes to threaten the safety of your family. But wouldn’t marital problems threaten him too?

I understand that you are dealing with a major stressor and that you may not even always be able to recognize or control your anger. But I think there are better ways to channel it. It makes sense to release it in places other than your home (at least sometimes) where it can harm your family. I would recommend downloading from a trusted friend or using a journal.

If you use the journal method, you want to be sure that you are not ruminating. And by rumination I mean that you are not using the journal just to beat your anger and keep it going because this does not benefit you. Instead, you want to release it and then ask yourself open-ended questions to help you release it little by little. I found that the easiest way for me to do this was to ask myself questions like: “Of all the options available to me, which one is most likely to keep my family intact and do well for everyone?” Or “which option brings more love to my home?”

It may seem like I’m asking you to ignore your problems or not deal with what your husband has done. I promise you I am not. But I also know firsthand that you are much more likely to get real action and real cooperation from your husband when you work together, when he is receptive to you, and when he treats you with respect. If you can make him feel supportive of you, then he is much more likely to want to do something for you and minimize your pain. And that means you want to rise to the occasion and take care of finances.

But if you’re abrasive (which is understandable, but destructive), then it’s easier for him to justify his own actions, and you don’t want to leave him at that. Instead, she wants him to do the right thing because he loves his family and because he sees that they don’t deserve it.

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