The value of ‘effective communication’

We may well know that the main contributing factor to peaceful and healthy relationships lies in the power of ‘effective communication’, be it personal relationships, professional interactions, or relationships between tribes and nations. But the dilemma of life is – ‘Knowing is one thing and practicing is another’… Why we don’t practice effective communication tools, there can be many reasons…

First of all, it is important to know that there are different types of personalities in this world according to the various models defined in psychology. The Right Brain and the Left Brain’, the ‘Introvert and Extrovert’, and the famous and widely used Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI): 16 Personality Types.

These psychological personality types reveal that there is a basic fixed code that we are born with. Most of the time, we have very limited freedom to play around with and modify the original code. So, according to the MBTI model, most of our practical life will be based on what we are born with.

In addition, we are also products of many other things: the human code we are born with, the parents we are born with, the geographical place / country, schooling and education, the home environment, the role of parents in the upbringing and the society we live in and many more…

We may be talking about more than 10 factors that eventually shape us as we are. So we can well understand why we act the way we do: sometimes shy and reserved, sometimes outspoken and bold, sometimes logical and methodical, and sometimes vague and intuitive…

Understanding these psychological personality types actually helps us better understand ourselves as well, whether we are naturally good communicators or need to learn more to overcome our weaknesses.

However, the fact is that most of the doubts and misunderstandings that result in bitter relationships like divorces, fights, murders, battles, and even wars, stem from extreme lack of proper communication, opposing ideologies, hatred, hostility, and enmity.

To achieve healthy and peaceful relationships, we must strive to know a little about the science and art of communication. It is commonly understood that communication is 55% body language, 38% tone, and 7% words.

Furthermore, to improve the level of communication in our practical life, as individuals, we must understand the following four main tools of effective communication:

• Listening

• Speech

• Reading

• Writing

We start our lives (as babies) listening or listening, then we start speaking or talking, then in the third stage in schools, we start reading and finally in the fourth stage we learn the skills of writing.

listening effectively

It requires that you first be patient to stay quiet and let the other person speak with all the emotions, and not be interrupted in the middle. Furthermore, active listening requires an attentive listening attitude by nodding and leaning forward. These gestures will provide non-verbal cues that the speaker is being heard correctly.

speaking effectively

Language should be clear when spoken, understood by recipients, delivered at a balanced pace, and accentuation of the voice should reflect emotion and concern. Attention to all of these elements will help create an impact as you speak.

read effectively

Reading should be for the purpose of understanding ‘meaning’ and engaging and having an absorbing experience. Mere skimming or cluttering may not serve the purpose; it is short-lived and will soon evaporate from the mind.

write effectively

As it says, whatever you do, ‘do it from your heart’, well, it applies aptly to the skill of writing. This ability belongs very much to the domain of an ‘art’ which is also one of the reasons why we have so few ‘good writers’.

Although the awareness and mastery of these four communication tools are important for proper and effective communication, however, most of the time, in our daily lives, we use only two: listening and speaking. Even then, if we start to improve these two skills, we can improve our lives and relationships with better results.

We should try to keep getting better at these skills simply because it really benefits us; whether we are going to a job interview, any office presentation, any professional interaction, any business deal, any personal conversation between friends and family or even handling difficult people or situations.

With conscious awareness and mastery of these communication tools, you will gradually experience that you will begin to gain an advantage, with a new understanding that there is actually a lot of power in ‘effective communication’.

By Zeerik Ahmad