Unlimited Mother’s Day

“Women who have raised, guided, supported and loved people who did not give birth (and yes, pets are absolutely included in that). Having a family is not a right; it is a privilege. Sometimes sharing DNA with someone It makes you family and sometimes it doesn’t. It’s about how you treat people. You can have a mother figure in your life, a best friend who is more like a sister or a boss who has guided you from day one, and that the woman is as important (and for some, more) as the one who raised you or not “.

The quote above was from an online article titled “Why You Should Celebrate All Women on Mother’s Day” by Jenna Whitecar. This article caught my attention for many reasons.

The debate continues on Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and surely other holidays. I heard how Hallmark created holidays that led all Americans to celebrate “false holidays.” It is okay that they are “inspired”, I will not call them “fake”.

I was raised to respect everyone and understand their position in life. Some people become parents, by nature or by choice; some people lead single lives, others marry; some are lonely while others long for a family hug. I have led a life filled with the embrace of many family members and I have seen the number of families decrease. I have seen the same happen with the extended family. And while I admit that I am not the best person when it comes to holidays, birthdays, sending cards and all that, I believe that when it comes to holidays, the good wishes for the day should be limitless.

For those of you who don’t know my background, I was adopted. The woman I called my mother, Mary Parmel, did not give birth to me. But she and my father saved my life at the ripe age of five months. No, I am not implying that the circumstances surrounding my birth were dire, I am simply saying that the two people who went through years of meetings, interviews, home checks and more, provided me with a life that I would not change. My parents gave me a home, shelter, love, and family; I was given the gift of knowing that extended family comes in all forms – all of my parents’ childhood friends from Queensbridge Projects became my aunts and uncles – and to this day, dead or alive, they are owes them respect for their lives, stories and place in my life.

Knowing that some people put limits on relationships really resonates with me especially on Mother’s Day. My mother was famous for her “expectations” (she could be quite critical when no one thought she should meet those expectations) and she would let you know as well. But the only thing that made sure that I knew UNEQUIVELY was this: respect was paramount.

To this day, I still address all of my aunts and uncles by their titles and names. It is something that I feel shows respect and honors what my father and mother taught me; It may be an old way of thinking, but respect equates to nurturing those special relationships.

On a day like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, the debate continues as to whether or not to wish someone who has no children, good wishes for the day.

“Women who have raised, guided, supported and loved people who did not give birth (and yes, pets are absolutely included in that).” I have taught hundreds of students (some like me, some hate me, and some still call me “Miss Parmel”); I have hired over 65 people who have called me “Jane” (and probably a few other names that I can’t post in a blog post that would otherwise have a “G” rating), who call me to this day to ask me for guidance, answers and support. for themselves and their new companies; And I even had a puppy that proved that I can really take care of a living creature! “

Having a family is not a right; it’s a privilege “.

My mother and father believed this wholeheartedly; the rest of their families did as well, creating their families through adoption many times.

“You can have a mother figure in your life, a best friend who looks more like a sister, or a boss who guided you from day one, and that woman is just as important (and for some, more) than the one who did. . or I didn’t raise you. “

Marie, Marie-Ange, Liz, Rae, Janet, Lucille, Margie, Suzy, Peggy, Aunt Mary D., Aunt Lil, Barbara, Theresa, Pina, Lella, Elina, Susan; Aunt Flo, Aunt Marie, Marvy, Carmen. Just a few of the names that have filled “family” over the last half century.

So debate if you want, ignore parenting, ignore the value of community, deny someone else’s journey. It is completely up to you. Acknowledging the position someone has held in your life and the place you occupy in your heart should never be up for debate. Wish them a happy whatever the day.

“Sometimes sharing DNA with someone makes you family, and sometimes it doesn’t. It’s about how you treat people.”

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