When not committing: walk away

Not all women, but many women think that if they continue to show a man how much they love him, or “just put up with it,” he will eventually commit to them. This is not the case at all. I know this first-hand, because I recently had to leave a two-year relationship after realizing that the only man I really loved had no intention of committing to me even though I showed him how much I really loved him, and being very committed to him.

Once I realized and accepted that he was not going to commit to me: I left. Sure, it was a painful decision, but she knew it was a very necessary decision that she had to make before investing any more time in this dead-end relationship. I cried like a baby the day I left. Her making it painfully clear to me that she wasn’t going to commit to me was like a slap in the face. Basically, for him it had become a free ride.

Consequently, I love as many women do: with the heart and not with the head. I ignored the warning signs in the early stages of our relationship that came back to haunt me and caused me indescribable pain. One sign I ignored was the fact that he had several long-term relationships with women that lead nowhere.

To illustrate, he dated a woman for seven years. He dated another woman for two years and another woman for five years. Do you see the pattern? Well, I ignored this obvious pattern and paid for it. Another important sign that I ignored was his obvious discomfort every time he broached the subject of marriage. Seven months after our relationship, I asked him if he saw a future with me. Instead of offering an answer, he simply looked away. Needless to say, her refusal to give me an answer cut my heart like a knife.

Even then, I knew even then that I should have walked away, but again I loved him and really hoped that he would eventually get engaged to me. By the way, his words and actions lead me to believe that he wanted a long-term committed relationship because he and I looked at the houses that “we” bought one day.

I later learned the hard way that looking at homes to buy as a couple was just a tactic to make me believe that he wanted a long-term committed relationship and stay involved in what he already knew would be dead. end the relationship. Basically he sold me a fantasy, which I bought.

One thing I’ve learned from dealing with men, especially men who have a commitment phobia: believe what he does, not what he says. Whatever is in a man’s heart will definitely come out through his words, and definitely through his actions. It is not enough to hope that a man will one day commit to you. Waiting and hoping for a man to commit to you one day is just that: hope.

Plus, it allows you to keep manipulating the relationship to keep you clinging to false hopes and eventually stuck in a dead end relationship. When it becomes very clear to you that the man you have been dating for some time has not even broached the subject of marriage, and shows by his actions that he does not want to commit to you: GET AWAY!

Believe me, the longer you stay in that relationship, the more difficult it will be to break free from the relationship. Like me, you will cling to false hopes and find excuses to stay in the relationship. Lastly, the longer you stay in that relationship, the more valuable time you may be spending with a man who truly wants to give you the commitment you deserve will be wasted.