12 rules of constructive feedback

As a leader, you want your team members to develop their skills and improve their performance. It is important to provide them with feedback. Although most people prefer to receive positive feedback, the truth is that we learn much more from negative feedback.

It is a very difficult task to give negative (constructive) feedback. Some managers don’t like it because their employees might react like this: start crying, act defensive, or might give “this look.” Other managers don’t know how to do it right: what to say, when, where, or how.

1. Choose the right moment

Giving negative feedback long after the event has occurred is a big mistake. People tend to forget that what they did was wrong. Negative comments must be given as soon as possible after the event.

2. Choose the right place

The golden rule is to always give negative feedback in private. Why? Let them “save face”. They can deal with negative emotions and do not want to be on public display. It could also get the other employees to take sides.

3. Control your emotions

Yes, you are very angry because your employee was 30 minutes late, did not open the store on time, and lost some sales. You want cream “I’m going to fire you.” But remember that his first reaction and his first words when frustrated are never right. In this situation, people always wish they could take back his angry words. You have to calm down, wait a while until your emotions and anger die down.

4. Avoid giving feedback via email, phones, text messages and notes

The best way to give feedback is in person because you want to know that they understand the reason for constructive feedback and can ask questions.

5. Prepare

Take the time to plan what you are going to say, gather information, data, and clarify your thoughts. It is always a good strategy to write down the main points so that you can follow them. It’s unprofessional when the manager says after the conversation is over, “By the way, I completely forgot to tell you (ask)…”.

6. Choose the correct words and intonation

It’s unprofessional to say: “Your bad attitude,” “Your rude behavior,” and “Your poor work ethic.”

Instead of saying, “You were really late yesterday,” say

“I was disappointed when you were late because we missed some sales”

“Our customers were very upset waiting for him for 30 minutes”

The same words can be pronounced with a different intonation, and depending on how we say them, they could mean something completely different.

7. Be specific

Identify the specific actions your employee took or the specific things they said.

“You always”, “you never” could provoke the defensive reaction “No, I’m not”.

Instead of saying, “You’re always late,” use this phrase instead: “You were 30 minutes late yesterday.”

8. Explain what impact it has on the team (company)

“You were 30 minutes late yesterday. During this time one of your customers was waiting for you, he was very upset and left the store. He spent $3,000 last month $10,000 during the last year. What if he never comes back to our store? It’s a pretty high price to be late, don’t you think?

9. Give your employee a chance to speak

Ask questions, find out the reason for his action, “You were late yesterday. What happened?”

10. Make suggestions on how to improve

What do you expect him/her to do? As a leader, how can you help him improve?

Does your employee need sales training? Tutorships? Change shift schedule?

You can also ask them what kind of help they need from you (company) to improve their job performance.

11. End on a positive note

“I’m sure this conversation will never happen again. We know him as a great seller and we want him to continue his success.”

12.Follow-up

It will show your employees that you care about them and that you are ready to help and support them.

“Let’s have a meeting in two weeks and see what changed.”