Addiction = Power + Control

Power itself has many definitions that both empower and disempower. Power is an agent that acts in a direction that depends on what it is paired with. If power is applied to empowerment, the effect will manifest life affirming offspring. BUT if power is connected to control, the union turns into an incestuous marriage where power and control become one of the hardest addictions to break. I will use substance addiction as an example of how this marriage produces its offspring; But truth be told, power and control metastasize in many areas of our lives, especially relationships of all kinds. I have met far too many addicts who quit drinking but fill the addiction with toxic relationships, obsessive work clothes, or extreme religious beliefs. I have also met many addicts who have never touched a mood-altering substance, but are out of control with themselves, and still insist on manipulating and controlling others. Therefore, the first step in the 12-step program is about admitting that one is powerless and applying across the board. This step is one of the most difficult admissions against the ego. However, without surrendering to peace; as this is the core of impotence, the struggle for power is marked with justifications and amendments.

Controlling others is the tangible act of power. The more power-hungry a person; the more they control others. That is one of the many characteristics of an addicted mind. Some of the most deranged dictators in this world had an addiction to power and control. Joseph Stalin was one of the most mentally disturbed dictators in Russia, and his reign was marked by his tight grip. He remembered every detail of his day, less because he was brilliant and more because he was controlling. A truly brilliant mind is freely enlightened; while a mind addicted to power is tempered by subjugation. Stalin fell last. He was so controlling that he suffered from a deep paranoia that marked anyone who was not controllable as an enemy worth dying for. This, of course, is the extreme. Power and control also manifest at work and home. The irony is that the most controlling people have a deep fear of not being able to control themselves. Addiction is a realized state in which we can no longer rely on ourselves to control ourselves.

It seems that we are at war with our ego that we should “know”. Since we use a little more brain power than an ape, the smartest option is to “wow.” God is powerful because he represents knowledge and wisdom greater than ourselves. If you don’t believe in God, there is still something greater than human beings: death. Death leaves us powerless; but it also reveals our sublime humility that we are but children in the mysteries of the universe. The story of Camus, The Myth of Sisyphus, was about a man named Sisyphus who tried to outwit (power) death by chaining it (control). When death escaped, Sisyphus was condemned to roll a stone down a mountain for eternity. Had he succeeded in rolling the stone to the other side of the mountain, he would have been granted the power of immortality. However, his obsession blinded him and every time Sisyphus rolled the stone to the top of the hill, he fell again. The story has many meanings, but for me it was about the addiction to power and control.

Addiction is very much like an obsessive relationship in which intense attachment and control mark the victim; promising a high that is never reached. Power gives a hint of feeling powerful and then brings us to our knees in utter helplessness. The higher something points to the will of our ego, the more lasting and prolonged the fall from that position will be. But what if the lust for power was removed? What if he faced and dismantled the stop to control? There are many ways to combat addiction, but consider one more dimension. That is, lessen our impulses to control people, places and things outside of us. The effect of doing this will lessen internal power cravings that are similar to that of a hungry ghost. The fewer urges to pursue power and control, the more likely we are to be able to move from an addicted mind to a peaceful mind. Letting go does not mean giving up ourselves. It means giving up an addiction that gets in our way.