Communication tips for dealing with stubborn partners

How do you win an argument with a person who responds to your well thought out and well presented case of a particular point of view with an “Aha”? Answer: You don’t.

In fact, why were you arguing with this person in the first place? The best approach is not to get into arguments with people who cannot understand your logic.

In personal relationships, the stubborn partner is one of the most difficult situations to deal with. How can you communicate with someone who will not listen to your reasoning, if they listen to you? After all, communications are the deciding factor in most relationships, whether personal or business.

The principles for dealing with difficult people never change. They are almost like the immutable laws of physics; water is made up of two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen, this will never change; gravity supports everything on the planet, this will never change.

Here are some tips on how to deal with stubborn people who have a personal relationship with you.

* Do not offer solutions – the more you push your suggestions to people, the more they resist.

* Don’t tell people what to do – Using phrases that start with “should”, “I think you should”, “it would be nice if you did” will only create a wall between the two of you.

* Don’t use blame – This is another big detour.

* Don’t use complaints as a manipulation tool. – As a complainant, the problem is you, not your partner.

* Don’t use criticism – all this does is build even more resistance.

When you are dealing with what you perceive as stubbornness in your partner, take a step back and take a Look at yourself Are you sure it is your partner who is being difficult? You may be part of the problem.

A chronic stubborn person is rare. Usually, it is something in your relationship that makes a person stubborn or difficult to deal with. Possibly it is something you do or say, or it is your attitude that puts up the barriers.

Clean your heart and open your mind. Perhaps it is something you did without realizing that it has raised that wall of stubbornness. Keep an open mind about why they are being difficult.

Listen to their point of view. Let them express themselves as it can help you see why they are stubborn. Listen to them honestly, actively and with empathy. Just the fact that you listen can change their attitude.

Value your difficulties. Difficulties create conflict and this in turn creates change. If your relationship is unchallenged, it will never grow into something deeper and more meaningful. Your relationship can only grow stronger as you face mutual difficulties.

Do not correspond to stubbornness. If you react in the same way, the only result will be an even greater miscommunication. Bad behavior breeds bad behavior. Understanding and empathy beget understanding and empathy.

Don’t blame the other person for being stubborn. The ‘blame game’ never solved anything and fixing blame never solved a problem.

Don’t get too attached to your preconceived notion of the result of any discussion with your partner. Your stiffness will cause resistance in them and no communication will take place.

If you fail to communicate with your partner after applying these tips, it is you, not the tips, that have failed. These principles are the foundation for good communication.