Home and Family: Does Your Child Think of You as an ATM?

I think one of the biggest sins in modern society is that people hardly ever touch money. They use debit and credit cards, write checks, pay bills electronically and send gift cards, but rarely touch or use cash.

I remember going to a cashier at a large department store and placing the item I wanted to buy along with the money to cover the cost on the counter. The young female employee told me that she had to use a credit card because she didn’t know how to accept cash in a transaction.

Another time I placed an order for $6.57 at a drive-thru and handed over $7.07 through the teller window with the intention of receiving a limited number of coins as change. The cashier stared at the money in her hand and counted it repeatedly with a puzzled look on her face. Finally she handed me my 7 cents and said “You gave me too much”. I didn’t even try to explain.

A few weeks ago my eleven year old grandson and I were getting ready to go to the Stampede. We stopped at a bench and he asked me “What is that brown?” Apparently he had never seen a $100.00 bill.

I see teenagers at ATMs. They insert their debit cards and then wait with an expectant look on their faces, as if they were in front of a casino slot machine. If their card is declined without payment, they leave with a dejected look on their faces. They can’t seem to understand why they didn’t win!

The sad part is that some kids also treat their parents like ATMs. They think that all they have to do is tell the parents what they want and the parents will spit out the necessary funds to meet their needs.

Life doesn’t work that way, but how are kids supposed to know that unless we teach them a different way?

If your child has an allowance or earns money doing chores, pay cash. They will begin to know the thrill of having coins to clink and will quickly realize that once they are spent, the pocket is empty.

Use play money to help the child learn the true cost of items. Count a specific, realistic amount of money, and then help the child determine how the money could be spent to meet the family’s needs. They will soon begin to understand that limited funds mean decisions will need to be made.

And try to set a good example by using money instead of debit and credit cards. Both you and the child will soon realize that an empty wallet means it’s time to stop spending. (Well, I hope you find out before it’s completely empty.)

Children do not need a debit card. In fact, it only puts distance between them and the reality of having limited funds. Adults also do not need debit or credit cards. They just lure people into financial trouble.

And kids don’t need to have the idea that their parents are ATMs. It’s okay to say “We can’t afford that” or “You don’t need that.” It is also acceptable to say that the child can look for a job or do chores to earn money to spend. My youngest son delivered newspapers when he was only six years old.

I’m often quite surprised by parents who continue to top up teens’ bank accounts or pay large cell phone bills because the teen doesn’t have a job. Most of us wouldn’t focus on work if we knew we had all the money we need and want! No job, no phone! No work, no spending money! They will soon find out!

It is time for us to move away from the unreal world that plastic and virtual financing creates in our minds. The use of coins and bills teaches children how to handle money responsibly. And it’s not just about kids. Getting back in touch with “the real thing” is an idea that certainly wouldn’t hurt adults either!