How to develop a heart as big as a house

The Hawaiian word “Ho”omaika’I, means to have a spirit of gratitude and thanks. “He’opu halau” means to have a heart as big as a house. This is said of a person who is kind, courteous, and hospitable. This quality of loving-kindness is encouraged in Hawaiian culture as a way of expressing aloha, or love. During this month of November when we celebrate Thanksgiving, let us remember that gratitude, kindness and generosity are qualities that are learned, and be patient. and practice to develop.

We learn to be grateful as children when the adults around us talk about gratitude and why it is important. They can also teach us to write “mahalo” or thank you cards and to express thanks with smiles, hugs and offerings of food. But we may not have grown up in families that taught us to value developing an attitude of gratitude. The good news is that it is never too late to acquire this skill. We can even learn to be grateful and express appreciation when situations seem especially challenging.

These moments of pain that life brings are often the greatest opportunities for spiritual growth in our lives and in the lives of those we love. Yet rarely do you hear a person say “Thank you for this loss” or “Thank you for this pain in my life.” It’s easy to give thanks for the simple things like the sky, the ocean, family, friends, having a place to live, and health, but giving thanks for the unexpected difficulties that life brings requires the perspective of a mature soul.

This response can be learned as an individual nurtures the awakening of their higher self in their life. The change from being a victim in the circumstances of life to being a conscious participant in the drama of life is a quantum leap in consciousness. To become grateful for painful soul-growing experiences is to recognize that true vitality comes from embracing all of life, not just the good and easy times. Part of my deepest gratitude has come after being shaken by the death of a friend. Suddenly the simple gift of life is a miracle to be appreciated and honored. Everything I take for granted becomes valuable when it is lost. Learning to be a true spiritual teacher in this plane of suffering and struggle is to cultivate an attitude of gratitude no matter the situation. There is always someone worse than you and this perspective can certainly bring humility and grace. Every difficulty is an opportunity to grow in faith and love in a divine plan.

With a crisis, often comes the acceptance that we need to allow or invite help or support from another person. Crisis is also an opportunity to become more sensitive to the feelings of others and to develop empathy and compassion. We draw closer to others through adversity if we are willing to reach out with gratitude instead of withdrawing when times get tough.

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Now I can say that I am grateful for both the good and the bad times in life. I have learned that the easy flowing periods of life comfort me when challenges come. Instead of letting obstacles keep me from being grateful and trusting in life, I can now say “Thank you.” Thank you infinite universe for this opportunity to extend myself beyond my way of being known, towards a broader perspective. This is the nature of life: to humble ourselves and teach us to trust that no matter how things appear, there is much to be thankful for.

May your heart be as big as a house and have a very Happy Thanksgiving.