Lesson 15 – Meeting the prince with more reputation than power

the history

Businesses have a habit of testing us as individuals and as entrepreneurs. Several years ago I hired my first entertainment agent to represent me and my business. This was at a time when I was nearing the threshold of gaining national attention for my speaking and writing business. Hiring a qualified agent had become necessary for particular representation purposes.

In the weeks after the initial meeting with the new agent, he introduced me to a woman named Sherry, who owns a newspaper in Richmond. I contacted Sherry at her recommendation and referral. After weeks of talking and building a strong relationship with Sherry, she was impressed with the work she was doing. As our relationship developed, she agreed to make personal introductions to resources that could sponsor my national youth program.

Weeks before it was time to present a panel discussion at the University of Virginia, Sherry led me to believe that she could make the presentations I needed for my youth program. Since she was coming to town, she told me that she was going to have a cocktail party at her house where these presentations would take place. Finally after many years things were starting to fall into place, I had an agent who represented me, led, guided and referred me to people who could and would help me.

It was a great feeling knowing that after years of running all aspects of my business on my own, I no longer had to wear multiple hats to promote my business, or so I thought.

In fact, I received no help, no introductions, and my group of three were the only people who attended their cocktail party. I had also been cheated and lied to for weeks. She couldn’t believe that a person could make up such unprofessional lies during a business social. Furthermore, he trampled on the hopes of others.

Later that year, I was asked to do a book signing at the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation’s Annual Legislative Weekend Convention. Once there, I would stand and greet people who passed by my table to browse through my books. The foundation committee had placed me in a busy, centralized traffic pattern at the convention hall. I was lucky to have met a lot of people that day.

A man approached me, handed me his business card, and proceeded to talk about his business. He was well dressed and presented himself professionally. I exchanged business cards with him and he left. I figured I’d never hear from him again, but not long after, he called me and asked for a meeting. He had a business with his wife as event promoters. Before I met with him, I sent my part-time assistant to meet with him and his wife to determine if meeting with them would be productive and if our interests were common.

After reviewing his business, my assistant recommended that I schedule a meeting with him, so I did. Between eight and ten months of meetings, appearances and short presentations that I made, which only seemed to be for the benefit of his company, I ended my business relationship with him and his company. I realized that he was being used to promote the soundness of his financial business. He certainly did not honor his part of the agreements we established at the beginning of our association.

Two years before I hired an entertainment agent, I lost all hope of having a positive role model in my industry who could provide me with guidance and mentorship. It seemed that from the beginning of my career I was the birthday boy who received a perfectly wrapped gift that represented something I always wanted and would cherish. But when I unwrapped the gift, a scary clown appeared, like a hideous jack-in-the-box, leaving me sad and disappointed. Like a bad dream, this happened for some time. I began to doubt my ability to succeed in my field, cynical and despondent about business relationships and projects. With my original mentors within the industry, that’s how I came to feel.

Professionals with this type of personality seem to tell the biggest lies of all, which reminds me of what legendary artist James Brown said in one of his greatest hits. He said that some people “talk loudly and don’t say anything.” In general, this type of person may be excited in the moment and agree with things that they cannot produce, or are not in a position to facilitate any action. This is the type of professional who decides to appear more powerful than he really is.

The meeting with the prince with more reputation than power is the professional like Sherry who was supposed to make me a cocktail and with other professionals I was disappointed. Apart from my agent and assistant, there were no other people there. No introductions were made. Besides this there were no cocktails. For months Sherry lied to me and once at her house he made no attempt to apologize or make up for the months of deception.

From his office in Virginia during a telephone interview, Brian Biondi, president of the Organization for Young Entrepreneurs, said that “people realize that they should never, never burn bridges because it will continue for years and years. With a person like the prince know that substance will prevail over form and false presentations will be short-lived. In which case, the cream always rises to the top.” Elliott Frutkin, chairman and CEO of Doceus, Inc., said it best: “If someone has a product or service that’s that compelling, they should come up with powers that can facilitate a meeting so partnerships can be made.”

The lesson

It is not wise to trust a prince who has more reputation than power. In other words, make sure he is dealing with the person who has the power to facilitate the action on his behalf. This can be accomplished by informally asking the person making the recommendation if they are the one making the decision. From this point, arrangements can be made to establish communication with the appropriate person. And remember to say what you mean and mean what you say.