My husband expects me to do everything! How to have a balanced marriage

When you recited your vows on your wedding day, you really had no idea what a roller coaster awaited you, did you? None of us do. We all seem to think that our marriage will be completely different from everyone else. We believe that our lovely, caring and loving husband will only grow to love us more and life will be like a honeymoon until we part. That is the fantasy. The reality is different. When faced with dirty dishes, overdue bills, and impatient children, life takes a completely different turn. You and your husband no longer agree on everything. The balance shifts and there is likely to be tension. There are a number of common complaints married women have, including, “My husband is no longer romantic, he’s selfish, and my husband expects me to do everything.” Dealing with problems proactively can not only solve the problem, it can also improve the marriage.

A great example of how resentment begins to grow in a marriage is when the wife is expected to do the worst part of the housework and child-rearing. This usually occurs during the time a woman is home from work, shortly after giving birth to her first child. In the unappreciative eyes of a man, his wife is home all day, so she obviously has plenty of time to do laundry, wash the floors, and maybe even sneak into paint for a room or two. Anyone who hasn’t cared for a full-time baby doesn’t appreciate how overwhelming it can be. Hearing your husband walk through the door at dinner time asking what you did all day is enough to make you run and scream in his general direction, tearing him apart over dirty diapers, crying babies, and no time for showers. You really need to keep in mind that if your husband hasn’t been in the trenches with you, he has no idea what you’re balancing every day when you go to work.

If your husband expects you to do everything, you should give him an idea of ​​what he faces on a daily basis. Pick a day and ask him to stay to help you. If he has young children, this is the perfect time for him to bond with them. The best thing is to get scarce and go for a few hours to run errands or soak your tired self in a well-deserved bubble bath. If your husband must take on the role you have been playing, he will soon find that he is an unrehearsed understudy. It will not take him more than ten minutes to understand that you are a superhero. An exercise like this can really go a long way in helping your husband realize that he can’t handle it all and that he needs your help.

Talk to him about what you need from him too. Explain that although you would like to be able to handle everything and something else, it is not only unfair to you, it is unfair to the children. Parents need to take their kidneys when it comes to raising children and that includes not just caring for them, but meeting their growing needs. There is also a lot to do to manage the home in general, and again, as you are in a society that extends to mowing the lawn and doing minor repairs.

Work with your husband to find a better balance in your marriage. Give her things to do and then remind her if she slips away. By showing him how much help he needs along with explaining it to him, in an understanding and non-demanding way, he will soon begin to see that he will want to help more. Keeping the peace will be the reason you will start to help more, but the satisfaction of helping your family will be what will keep you motivated.