Parents: Tips for Successful Parenting

The way a person is in adulthood largely depends on how he was raised as a child. A study of the offenders’ backgrounds will reveal the following: (1) the child did not receive enough positive love and attention; (2) The child did not receive a positive stimulus (children, like any of us, need validation) and, what is worse, was subjected to humiliations, eroding self-confidence and building an inferiority and low self-esteem complex; (3) the child was treated cruelly through disproportionate anger and punishment. When children do not receive positive feedback and a welcoming environment from at least one parent, the tendency is to seek acceptance and attention elsewhere, often through their peers. Then when they become teenagers out of control, we think that it is a normal process that they go through, and going through adolescence is the most challenging part because it is at this stage that they are between childhood and adulthood and on the way. to find your identity.

Anyone can achieve successful parenting, even with single parents, and regardless of the situation. Here are some solid words that can help you get there:

(1) Give Unconditional Love and Positive Attention: Love your kids just for being your kids, not because they excelled in school or sports, not just because they show talent, but just because they are your kids. Give them a lot of attention, communicate a lot, give them a hug or a reassuring touch, take the time to listen to them. Attend school functions. Enjoy activities with them, do things together, be it a fun activity or housework. Children love and seek the attention of their parents; Whether they get it through positive or negative behavior depends on what the parents reinforce. If they don’t get positive attention and acceptance from parents, they will always look elsewhere, and peers are their most likely resource. Create a stronger bond with your children and they will always gravitate toward that bond.

(2) Create a positive environment within each child: As children grow, they need confirmation of what they are doing, this reinforces a habit or behavior. Therefore, always remember to praise good work and achievements, no matter how small those successes are; For them, it can already mean a lot and this builds self-confidence. Support his interest and encourage him in the aptitude or talent that he can see in your child. On the contrary, when you do something bad or unpleasant, don’t just reprimand without letting them know why, and if you have to reprimand, do it as quietly and privately as possible: humiliation, especially in front of others, leads to low self-esteem and resentment. , and a possible beginning of hostile behavior. Also, NEVER compare one child to another. Always remember that each child is unique and has their own abilities or traits.

(3) Teach them responsibility: love but don’t cuddle; Even as young children, they have to learn to be responsible, such as putting away their toys, making the bed, setting aside time to study, even sharing little housework, this in particular. Two things, you teach them responsibility and it also serves as a bonding activity. You can also teach them responsibility by showing them that receiving something they want is sometimes a reward for positive behavior, which in their own way they “worked” for what they received. Give positive reinforcement and encouragement for an event or action.

(4) Teach them to be kind and helpful, as well as to appreciate what they have: teaching your children to be kind and helpful creates a kind spirit within them. Likewise, letting them appreciate what they have will create a positive outlook. When my children were growing up, and we saw unfortunate or unpleasant situations, I would always tell them how blessed they are that they were not in the same situation but at the same time, seeing how blessed they are, they should convey it with kindness. . The best way to show it is when they see this in you!

(5) Give them the gift of inner strength to accept mistakes, rejection and failure in a constructive way – Knowing that it is normal to fail (and not be scolded for it!) And making mistakes is a good exercise to teach children the inner strength. Right from the start, things happen sometimes and the important thing is that he or she did HIS best, not THE best, and learn from these mistakes instead of sulking and reflecting on these mistakes. Another important way we can teach our children inner strength is by not giving in to everything they want. As parents, we are sometimes guilty of doing this, but instant gratification every time will not build children’s character, but will help them to realize that they cannot have everything they want, but it is explained to them with love.

(6) Put motivation in a positive perspective: When you encourage your child to do things, especially in studies, teach him the value of doing his best, rather than negative programming. “Study or keep your feet on the ground” – This makes for a negative short-term motivation, rather than teaching your child the value of their future.

(7) To some extent, involve them in the situation at hand; How you handle this will depend on the age of the children. Knowing the right time and how to say this is crucial. Do you have certain financial difficulties? Serious marital problems even to the point of divorce? While these are adult problems, they can be communicated to the child to some extent. This gives them a solid understanding of reality. The key here is to explain it in the least negative way possible without showing bitterness but acceptance and optimism.

(8) Learn when to ask for forgiveness – As adults and parents we are not infallible. Sometimes a sudden outburst of anger from a parent or a false accusation will make the child feel dejected. Learn to apologize to them, at the same time, this also teaches them to be humble and do the same.

Successful parenting involves a lot of love, patience, and communication. The key is to develop a close, positive relationship with your children and they will win out no matter what situation the family is in, even in the midst of a broken marriage or divorce. We only get one chance to raise our children – once they grow crooked, this is hard to correct. Therefore, the best gift we can give our children is to raise them with the right values, attitude, and character.

“If we die tomorrow, the company we work for can replace us in a week; but our family will feel the loss forever. However, we spend more time with work than with family, an unwise investment.”