Should you date others to make your ex jealous?

After a breakup, it’s good to get out and socialize instead of staying at home moping and thinking about your problems. Seeing your friends will lift your spirits and remind you that there is a world outside of your relationship. And spending time in mixed groups of people, enjoying the company of the opposite sex, will boost your confidence and make you feel more attractive. If your ex gets word that you were seen flirting with an attractive guy or girl, this will increase your desirability factor and may even make your ex jealous. And then they might start to wonder if they’ve been a bit too hasty by losing that award.

At this point, it’s tempting to wonder if you should try casually dating a few people just to make your ex jealous. If you want them back, then this could be the encouragement they need to decide that they don’t want to lose you after all. But does this tactic really work?

the truth is that can be very effective, but it is a high-risk strategy and must be used with care. Jealousy, the counterpoint to infidelity, is a powerful emotional force and, like all highly charged emotions, must be treated with great respect. It is important to understand the triggers for jealousy and how and why they differ between the sexes.

What happens when you set out to make your ex jealous?

Women find emotional infidelity harder to forgive, while men fear physical betrayal.

This is perfectly in line with basic biology: women need to know that the father of their children will support them and help raise them, which is more likely if the man remains emotionally committed to them. The other deciding factor for women is illicit paternity. There are many men whose wife or girlfriend has put up with their serial infidelity for years and has been lulled into a false sense of security; only to discover himself when he fathers another woman’s child.

Men, on the other hand, need to know that the children they are raising are really theirs. It’s also the ultimate act of disrespect to a man, and no man wants to stay with a woman who doesn’t respect him.

With all this in mind, you’ll understand that when you set out to make your ex jealous, you’re walking into a potential minefield. Therefore, he must tread carefully here and follow some simple rules to prevent the situation from becoming explosive.

Avoid losers

While you don’t want to overdo the jealousy factor, you do want to make your ex aware that you have other options, which means you won’t have to wait forever. So make sure you choose someone your ex sees as a true rival, rather than a desperate bid for his attention. Even if you’re not looking for a serious relationship, don’t drop your standards and pick the first person that comes along. Dating below you is more likely to convince your ex that he was right to leave you than to make him jealous enough to want to get back together.

Get the balance right

The upside of your new love life means that your free time will be limited, so you’ll be less tempted to keep contacting your ex and begging for another chance. But with the goal of getting back together in mind, you need to avoid being seen too much with a new love interest. You don’t want to convince your ex that you actually moved on with someone else; you just want to make the possibility clear to them.

After some time apart from your ex, you’ll want to try to build up some sexual tension with him by casually seeing him and flirting with him. If they think you’ve found someone else, they’ll just think you’re playing with them and get mad. Your goal is to show your ex how much you are in demand, not how easy it is to forget.

Don’t mislead people

To make sure you don’t overdo it, you need to make it clear to the people you’re dating that you’re not looking for anything serious. It’s only fair to be honest with them, and you don’t want to get involved in heavy scenes. Explain that you just ended a serious relationship and you don’t want to rush into anything new. Saying that you want to take things at their pace will give you time to figure out where your ex stands without giving your other dates false expectations.

Don’t close the door on your ex

Make sure they see you doing things other than dating, because you don’t want to give your ex the impression that you’re in the middle of a steamy love affair. Keep your interests varied and keep the lines of communication open with your ex. You want them to know that you’re having a good time, not that you’ve definitely moved on.

After a few weeks apart, it’s a good idea to try to catch up with your ex by going on some casual dates, like meeting up for coffee. You will have the chance to talk and flirt with them and see how they respond. This should give you an idea of ​​how she feels and show her that she still has a chance to win you back.

Dating other people to make your ex jealous is a high-risk strategy. You are walking a tightrope that is very easy to fall from: you want to make your ex jealous without convincing him that you have really moved on.

Remember that they will be highly suggestible and may be quick to believe the worst at the slightest bit of evidence. So err on the side of caution and be prepared to discover that you have entered a minefield. Things could easily get out of hand, and you may find that when you make your ex jealous, the consequences are quite different from what you expected.