Step 3 to Get Your Boyfriend Back: Remove the Breakup Safety Net

One of the first things that happens after a relationship ends is always the same: one person still loves the other more. If your boyfriend was the one who dumped, casting you in the very undesirable role of the dump, it’s not always easy to get back into her life. First you’ll have to accept your breakup and then you’ll have to let him off his radar. These first two steps are essential to get an ex back.

Beyond this, the next thing you’ll need to do is remove the safety net from your relationship. This little gadget is what lets your boyfriend know that he can get you back, anytime, anytime he wants. While he may think this is a good thing, it’s not. Having that network is the equivalent of having breakup insurance…it allows him to try being single for a while, and if he doesn’t like it, he can always come back to you. Good deal for him, right? It is safe.

As long as he thinks the network is still there, your ex boyfriend will do whatever (and possibly whoever) he wants. What you should do is cut him off, effectively letting him know that you’re not going to be there forever. Any guy who breaks up with any girl, no matter how long they’ve been dating, always wants to leave the door open to a possible reunion. Even if it’s just a small crack, he likes to know that the door isn’t locked; he can always open it to try to get back to you. Don’t let him have control of this door.

By grabbing the door handle and closing it yourself, you will make him panic. Cutting the safety net of your relationship suddenly brings him face to face with the cold, stark reality that he could finally lose you forever. As long as your ex thinks you’ll be waiting for him, he’ll keep playing the field. But the moment you let him know that you won’t be staying forever, he’ll start to doubt himself. And eventually, he too will start to question the breakup. This is what he will do to make him want you back.

By now you shouldn’t have called, emailed, or texted him. You’ve slipped off his radar and you’re doing your thing. He is already curious about what you are doing, and your life is now quite mysterious to him. He’s getting a taste of what his own life will be like without you, and that’s exactly what you want. You don’t want to “be friends” with your ex, and you’re not going to accept anything more than an exclusive long-term relationship. You want to get back together with your boyfriend, not casually see him in a friendly way, make small talk, or have meaningless relationships with him. By eliminating all of these other options, you are channeling it in exactly the direction you want: to get back together.