Happiness: how to create meaningful rituals in your life

On my way to work last week, I saw this really awesome quote painted on a brick wall outside a store. He said:

“Happiness can be found in the smallest things. Our passion is to transform your daily routines into more meaningful rituals…”

This quote really stuck with me and is definitely the inspiration behind this post. I believe that in order to turn our daily routines into more meaningful rituals, they must keep us centered and help us move towards our ultimate destination; happy. Establishing these meaningful rituals will be just as comfortable as some of the old routines we are replacing, and the result will be a much more vibrant and fulfilling life.

Here are five tips that I found especially helpful in figuring out which rituals fit best into my life:

First – Be spontaneous – Get out there and try new things!

I have to admit that these were the most uncomfortable but rewarding and enjoyable things I had to learn to do. Going out and discovering what you like and what you don’t like is the only way to find your true calling in life; your passion.

I started by making lists of all the things I’ve always wanted to try but never had the courage to do; that was the easy part. When it came time to go out and do the things on this list, that’s where my fear came in… For me, going out and doing something completely new, alone, was terrifying. I would ask my friends to come with me and when someone didn’t want to come with me, I would use it as an excuse not to go. After a while, I realized that all I was doing was creating this inner space for my fears to fester and grow…

If you feel like trying a new activity alone isn’t for you (at first), try joining a group. Google local group meetings or use websites like meetup.com that facilitate these types of group meetings. This is also a great way to meet new people, learn something new, and even get inspired!

Don’t be discouraged when you inevitably come across some activities that are not to your liking. That is to be expected! You’re not going to like everything you try, and finding out what you don’t like is just as beneficial as finding out what you like; This whole process is about getting to know yourself better. In Suzan Jeffers’ book Feel The Fear… And Do It Anyway, she wrote:

“A great researcher, having ‘failed’ two hundred times before finding the answer to one of his burning questions, was asked: ‘Doesn’t it bother you that you failed all those times?’ His response was, ‘I’ve never failed! I’ve found two hundred ways not to do something.'”

That being said, you’ve just discovered one more thing that it’s not for you. Good for you! Let the anticipation build and motivate you as you get closer to finding your true calling.

Second: set realistic and achievable goals in ALL areas of your life

There is nothing more discouraging than setting goals and not reaching them. It’s good to have long-term goals, but in the meantime, it’s better for our self-esteem and overall progress to be able to see and celebrate our successes.’ It motivates us to keep going.

One way to make sure your goals are realistic and achievable is to know yourself and be honest about what we realistically can and will do. For example; when i started meditating, it was completely new to me. The concept, the practice – everything! My goal was to meditate every day for 20 minutes a day. FACT: I couldn’t even meditate for 3 minutes without getting completely frustrated and giving up. After a week of going through this routine, I completely gave up. About a month later I had a thought; What if I set out to meditate three times a week for 3 minutes each? YOUR FATHER! I was able to successfully achieve that goal AND I felt GREAT! Now, I can meditate for 20 to 30 minutes without frustration or ridiculousness. All I had to do was take the pressure off of myself.

How did I take the pressure off myself? By NOT comparing my progress to the progress of those around me. When I started this journey, I was lucky to have my best friend on board: my “growth buddy.” I am so grateful to have someone as kind, compassionate, and non-judgmental as her on this journey with me. When I don’t see things clearly, she is there to help me up and vice versa. It’s never a competition between us, yet for some reason I was constantly comparing my progress to hers. After talking to her about it, it made perfect sense to say; Just because I’m having trouble with meditation and she’s not, I’m getting over other aspects of this journey with ease that she’s struggling with. We need to keep this in mind and stop comparing ourselves to other people because we are NOT the other person.

One thing to remember when putting together your goals list is to make sure you’re actually writing them down and not just making a mental list. In addition to writing them down, it’s essential that you take the time to visualize how each goal will fit into your life and the steps you’ll need to take to achieve each goal. Visualizations are a component of success and transformation that cannot be overlooked. It’s as simple as this (and I’m sure you’ve all heard of it) The Law of Attraction:

“Everything that comes into your life you are attracting into your life. And you attract it to you by virtue of the images you have in your mind. It is what you are thinking. Whatever is going on in your mind you are attracting” . Every thought of yours is a real thing – a force” -The Secret

When creating your goal lists, try to find balance. This is actually an entire chapter in Feel the Fear… And Do It Anyway by Suzan Jeffers titled How Complete Is Your “Whole Life”? In this chapter, she talks about how important it is to create a complete life grid with nine separate focal points. Creating and maintaining balance is an important way to make ourselves feel whole, fully connected, and to ensure that we continue to grow.

My 9 focus areas include;

Contribution and volunteering

hobby and leisure

Family

Friends

Relations

career

Spiritual growth and personal development.

Alone time and reflection.

health and exercise

What are yours? (This is a great starting point when developing your target list)

Third – Take Time to Reflect and Sit Still

Committing to taking time once a day to sit still and re-center is a vital part of living a balanced life and moving toward happiness. Getting in touch with your spirituality should be fun, it shouldn’t be a chore. It’s something you should expect to do daily/weekly (whatever you think). Try not to make these “brain exercises” redundant. Do meditation one or two days and then switch it up to yoga, tai chi, reiki, or whatever you’d like to do on the other days (this is a great time to get out your spontaneity list!)

Reading a good book that really resonates with me is also a great and quick way to center myself and I always seem to read exactly what I need to hear at the moment. However, finding a book that speaks to you and that you can relate to is the key. If it’s not a book related to your life, you won’t feel compelled to read it, and that’s really the point. Over the weekend, I was listening to a podcast with Brene Brown, and she made a comment that explains why it’s so important to choose stories that resonate with us. She states:

“One of the ways we measure the accuracy of our theories is resonance. Do people see themselves in the lives, stories, and narratives you’re creating with your data?”

I personally find books like The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie and The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo my personal favorites. Both are great options because they have 365 daily readings that are no more than two pages long; they are short, easy to read and inspiring.

Taking the time to journal is also very helpful when it comes to reflection (which, honestly, was one of the things I hated doing the most in the beginning). It was so out of my norm and awkward for me to write my feelings down and when I did they would usually leak out for fear that someone I knew would end up reading them. I could never allow myself to feel so open, honest and vulnerable (even with myself!)… all you need to do is get over this fear, be understanding with yourself and get used to the habit. Writing a few sentences about how you feel and how your day was is a great start! I bet that in no time you will love to write your feelings, what you dreamed or the messages you received during a meditation.

Fourth – Letting go of perfectionism

“Perfectionism is not about healthy growth and achievement. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of guilt, judgment, and shame. It’s a shield. Perfectionism is a 20-something your shield that we carry thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it is what really prevents us from flying.” -Brene Brown; The gifts of imperfection

Initially, I was going to title this section Letting Go of Control but after thinking about it, I had an AHA moment. Our need for control stems from our image of what we consider to be “perfect.” Many of us use perfection as a tool to measure how well we are doing when, in reality, everything is relative! As Brene Brown comments in The Gifts of Imperfection, perfection is all about perception and what we perceive to be perfect. What is perfect for you is not always perfect for me and vice versa.

When we create this image of perfection in our heads, expectation and the need to control arise, especially when it comes to the unknown. When we have everything planned out, it’s scary to think about driving without that map in front of us. This is where faith comes in; we need to have radical faith that whatever is meant to happen will happen and whatever the outcome, it will fit beautifully into the big picture. It’s about getting comfortable with the unknown (which is part of life) and learning to stop taking control of the wheel that we feel afraid of; Sometimes it’s nice and relaxing to just sit in the passenger seat. Put your feet up a bit and enjoy the ride.

Finally, make the process fun and relax a bit!

If the process isn’t fun, you won’t want to keep doing it. I’m sure you’re going to read material from tons of different authors and sources – combine all of these ideas and viewpoints to create a unique process that works for you. Remember that each author is only portraying the truth about him; what works for them may not work for you, and that’s okay… You are a unique individual; make your trip as unique and special as you are!

To make this process fun, learn to relax a bit and laugh! This process does not need to be perfect, in fact, it is not meant to be perfect. When I used to remember some of my struggles and how it used to be, it would generate pain and hostility; now, i laugh at how i used to act and think. I admit now that I was doing the best I could with the tools I had been given. So I practice gratitude and thank God for all the lessons he has taught me at such a young age. I love when Jeffers writes in Feel the Fear…and Do It Anyway;

“Start thinking of yourself as a lifelong student at a great university. Your curriculum is your total relationship with the world you live in, from the moment you are born to the moment you die. Every experience is a valuable lesson to learn If you choose path A you will learn one set of lessons If you choose path B you will learn a different set of lessons Geology or geometry – just different teachers and different books to read, different homework to do, different exams. take. It doesn’t really matter… So, calm down! Whatever happens as a result of your decision, you’ll handle it!”

Imagine how much easier this process would be if we just relaxed…