My husband claimed he wanted a divorce and suddenly changed his mind, why?

In your married life, there are probably very few occasions when you will observe your husband’s behavior as you would when he tells you he wants a divorce (and then seems to hesitate on this). This can be especially true if you are still invested in your marriage. It would be one thing if you announced the divorce, applied for it, and then moved in so that your intentions were very clear. But this is not always the case. Some husbands make the announcement, do nothing, or even seem to change their minds. This leaves the wife very confused about what her husband is thinking, what might happen in the future, and how he should respond in the future.

She might explain: “Three months ago, my husband told me that he wanted a divorce. I had no doubts about his sincerity. We have been unhappy for quite some time, (although I really hoped we could work things out). I was hoping it would take a relatively slow pace. slow because our finances are so complicated right now. Honestly, I think our finances are one of the reasons it took him so long to decide on a divorce. Having two houses to maintain is going to be difficult. So honestly, no I expected him to move out right away. And he didn’t. Basically, I tried to get along with him the best I could and just waited for the day when he told me he was moving or when he presented me with the divorce papers. Last week my mother unexpectedly invited me to go on an international trip next year. She said it was her gift to me. She also invited my husband. Although I didn’t tell her about the divorce at the time, I assumed she would go s olo. When I mentioned I gave this to my husband, he was excited about the trip. I told him that I assumed that we would both be divorced by then, so that he would not accompany me. His response was’ oh, I have changed my mind about the divorce. Why do you think I haven’t mentioned it in months? I am shocked. I thought you hadn’t mentioned it for money. I had no idea that I had changed my mind and I’m a little unsure about this. Why would a man suddenly no longer want a divorce? “

The person best equipped to explain your husband’s reasoning is your own husband. But if he doesn’t want to or can’t explain, I certainly have some theories, which I’ll discuss next.

You may have realized that a divorce will not solve your problems: When faced with a high level of stress or a crisis situation, you can sometimes fantasize that a divorce will be just what you need to escape the harsh reality of your life. You could tell yourself that if you can get rid of your tired old marriage that is holding you back, then you could finally be free to start a new and better life.

But then the reality of life hits you. Most of the time, as soon as someone goes and looks at the apartments or talks to a divorce attorney, it all suddenly becomes very real. And the person seeking divorce may realize that divorcing their spouse is not going to fix what is missing in their lives or what is broken within them.

In this particular case, your husband might have realized that a divorce would only add to the financial stress in his life rather than alleviate it. You may have realized that marriage can actually be a release from financial stress rather than the cause of it.

You may have seen positive and encouraging changes: The wife mentioned that for the past three months, she had made a conscious effort to get along with her husband in a more positive way. This may have mattered a lot to your husband, and he may be encouraged to see that, with a little effort, they can interact in a new and more enjoyable way. Sometimes that’s all it takes. Often times, a husband only wants a divorce when he begins to believe that things are never going to change. When you see that you may, in fact, have been wrong about it, then you are willing to change your mind regarding the divorce.

He could have been blowing smoke on divorce the whole time: Some husbands mention the D word because they know it will have the greatest impact and will be the most likely to get their attention. Deep down, they don’t really want a divorce, although they may not even realize it at the time. So when you give them what they want, more attention to whatever problems they are trying to solve, then there is no reason to complain about the divorce anymore.