The art of toasting

Today, one of my clients is throwing one of her good friends a 40th birthday party. In fact, she used to go out with him and now they are good friends. She has the perfect dress, has provided the beautiful country club for the party, and was now considering whether she should also gift a host.

My response to her? ALWAYS provide a toast if you can !!!

First of all, whoever is hosting the party has a responsibility to welcome people to the event. It is good to present yourself publicly and welcome everyone. It also establishes your credibility when you speak in front of people.

Next, it’s a chance to show off! When people see you completely serene in a somewhat stressful situation, they are impressed. Little do they know how much preparation when they are behind the scenes. You can make it look like you got the toast out of nowhere!

When writing a toast, there are a few things to do that will make your job easier.

How do you want to find yourself? Do you want the toast to be fun, upbeat and fun or do you really want it? This will help you determine the “story” you share during the toast.

How do you feel about the person? What do they mean to other people? How do people respond to you as individuals? Are they funny, eloquent, smart, a great dresser, or an excellent storyteller? Be specific and write as many adjectives as you can to describe this person.

What really cool or funny story can you tell about this person? Is there a secret passion this person has that makes you spend too much time on something? Was there a time when you were together that impressed you or made you laugh? What story can you think of that EXPLAINS what this person is to you? This can be lighthearted or serious, depending on what tone you want to create in the room and with the toast.

Lastly, what does this person mean to YOU? Do you want to honor them? You love them? Do you admire them?

Once you’ve assembled your toast, it should look like this:

“Welcome to our friend Clyde’s 40th birthday party. It’s great to see everyone here. For those of you who know Clyde, you will know that he is a determined, fun, and successful person. But there is one thing you may NOT know about. Clyde !!

Tell a funny or touching story here … And when the laughter dies down …

“So tonight, we wish to honor you, Clyde, for who you are to all of us. We appreciate you, we love you, and we wish you many more happy and healthy years to come.”

The story you tell is extremely important. But even MORE important is how often you practice this speech! Practice it in front of the mirror dozens of times until the words come off your tongue gracefully. Record yourself as you practice and rewrite it as you go. Practice visualizing yourself in the room beforehand and practice looking people in the eye so that you can do so easily during your speech. During the last part, when you are honoring the person, look them RIGHT in the eye as sincerely as you can, to let them know that you really care.

If you do all these things, you will blow people away. The response you’ll get is “wow, I wish I could get something like this out of my hat” and “that was a great toast … great job.”

No one has to know that he practiced over and over until he felt good. No one has to know that you changed the toast dozens of times until you got the story right. But what you and everyone else will know is that after you’ve given the speech and taken it out of the park, your status will rise.

By presenting an amazing toast, you will have created a great keepsake for the person you are honoring. And THAT’s it, after all!