Why does my spouse seem to want to flaunt his affair?

There is often a perception that a man who is having an affair will do everything in his power to prevent his wife from finding out. People assume that he will cover his tracks, erase his text messages, and maybe even have a separate phone for his wife and the other woman.

Some men are exactly that crafty. But not all men. There is a small subset of men who don’t seem to care if their wife finds out about the affair. In fact, some of them almost leave clues for her to follow. And some wives will tell you that not only did he not hide the romance, but he actually flaunted it. Someone might say, “My husband never tried to camouflage his affair. He left his phone on the counter when she was texting him. He wouldn’t announce he was dating someone else when he was going out, but he wouldn’t.” Nor did he excuse himself. He just didn’t come home or come home when he knew I was asleep. When I finally asked him if he was having an affair, his response was, ‘well, it’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? He never apologized. He never offered to break up. Now that I know about her, she’s completely honest when she tells me who she’s with. He doesn’t talk about her willingly, but he doesn’t change the subject, either. He will leave gifts for you on the counter. He’ll dress up nicely and hum to himself when he’s on his way to see her. He seems incredibly insensitive to me and I don’t understand why he is doing this. Why? Would a man flaunt his adventure? “

It is true that I do not know her husband, but I have some theories as to why some men feel the need to flaunt their extracurricular activities. I will discuss them below.

How i pay for something: Many husbands go out of their way to justify an affair. The most common reason I find a man flaunting his cheating is when his wife has cheated on him before. In this case, you WANT her to know. Hope she finds out. He can’t wait until the day she realizes that he has paid her back. This is his way of saying “two can play that game.” Or “look, there are other women who will love me if you don’t.”

And even if the wife hasn’t previously cheated on her, she may still be trying to pay you back for some perceived snub. You may still be trying to show her that you are still attractive and desirable. You may want her to feel sorry for something she has done.

He’s deeply invested in the other relationship and doesn’t care who knows about it: Sometimes, especially in the early days of an adventure, people can get caught up in it. At first, they don’t really wonder where the relationship is going or who is going to hurt. So it’s easy to get caught in the moment without moderating your actions. Your “boast” may be an extension of this. And your enthusiasm may mean you’re not wasting energy or time trying to cover your tracks.

He just wants to feel good about himselfHonestly, I think the main reason men have affairs is to feel positive about themselves. As they get older, slow down, or doubt themselves, they become much more vulnerable to an affair. Starting a new relationship shows them that they are still in the game. In a way, flaunting the relationship is trying to show you that they’re still in the game.

It is almost a way of seeking their approval. They hope that when you see how someone else can desire them, they will also be desirable to you and to themselves. I know this need seems very silly and needy. But it is real.

It’s not that different from the people who constantly post selfies on Facebook and are so desperate for attention and validation. This “bragging” behavior is along the same lines. They are flaunting because they are desperately seeking approval, validation, and self-worth.

Yes, they are looking for these things in a way that makes them look foolish and wrong, but the underlying theme is that they are motivated to act because they just don’t feel very good about themselves. And when they start to feel better, they want everyone to know.

If someone had an affair, but no one knew about it, then validation and increased self-esteem wouldn’t be so great. It’s the reason people post selfies instead of keeping them private. If you took your own photo, but no one else saw it, the impact would not be the same, or so you think.

None of the above validates or excuses the adventure. Not even close. We all have our struggles, but not all of us cheat. In no way am I defending cheating husbands who have the gall to flaunt adventure. I’m just trying to give you some ideas about your flawed psychology.