You see the handcuffs: it’s a fact

I had a rare fashion crisis moment this week. I was watching the TV show Ugly Betty. I know, I know, kind of a girly show, but it’s one of those shows that so many people watch that it’s nice to have a little bit of knowledge about them. That way, if someone asks if Betty is dating Henry or Gio the sandwich guy or Matt the new YETI guy, I don’t say: Why would any of them go out with her? She looks like someone’s bubbe.. Saying this would make me politically incorrect. saying YETI bubbe makes me look like a sweet guy with a broad cultural base.

So yeah I was looking Ugly Betty. This episode, as I watched it this week, may actually have been from a few weeks ago. I like to store them on my DVR and wait until I can watch them all together. For those who don’t watch the show, this is about Betty, who has been wearing braces for the last eighteen seasons and wears a lot of horrible prints, all mixed up with no concern for which prints should be reserved for night or day. summer or winter, dress or sofa. Get a job at Meade Publishing, which may or may not be the real name of the company, in their flagship magazine. Fashion. Fashion apparently it’s like fashion. There are plenty of totally expected but equally hilarious characters, including Betty’s boss, Daniel Meade, a trust fund playboy who is slowly becoming a real human being under Betty’s ethical and spirited influence.

It was this fellow Daniel who gave me my nervous attack about fashion. You see, I like to take traditional menswear and give it a modern twist and a bit of customization. In other words, I keep up with, or try to keep up with, the things that are in style today, except for Aladdin pants, cropped jackets, Bermuda shorts, and other fashion-conscious unspeakables.

In this episode, Daniel comes flying into the office in a daze, yes, a daze, because his shirt cuffs were sticking out of his jacket sleeves. Apparently, he had been in the Marc Jacobs preview and the fists were sticking out. So Daniel concluded that his shirts were very old fashioned and that he needed 1/8 inch removed from all of them.

And this gave me pause. Because fashion is so arbitrary, after all, how does a guy keep up?

The traditional school of thought is that the cuffs should protrude from the sleeves of the jacket by about half an inch. I would say, in Daniel Meade jargon, that this is the definition of peeking out. This gives your arms some balance, but it also means that your shirt sleeves are long enough to comfortably bend your arm without having to ride them all the way up to your forearm. Long sleeves are never good for a man!

Peeking gives you the opportunity to show off your fine watch (ie wristwatch) when you fire your fists (for more examples of this see Andrew Dice Clay at pretty in pink – this is not a great movie for art, but it does have some great examples of shots). He also provides the perfect canvas for a pair of very fine cufflinks.

When you think about it, there aren’t many places where men can display fine jewelry unless you’re an Italian from New Jersey or an Iranian offshoot of the Ayatollah. In that case, many thick chains and bulky pendants are strictly (It seems to be very front This day). For the common man, you have a place for a class ring if you went to that kind of school (class rings should only be for college if you’re in your 20s; if you have a class ring in post-20 and the initials HS come after the name of the school, put it in a box full of sentimental things and focus on new achievements). Or maybe you have a wedding ring or a covenant ring. Or even a signet ring.

Studs are no longer in fashion. Period. Whether you’re a minister and want to sport a cross, or eight years old and need to keep your clip from dripping into your soup, go for it. Otherwise, wearing a tie clip gives you a total Dilbert moment. Neck bars just show the world that you have been lying about your neck size for many years and can’t buy a shirt that fits you.

Leggings? Not jewelry. Belt buckles? Only in Texas.

So the only place to look for sparkle and shine is the cufflinks! Choose some with enamel designs, so Fabergé! Or simple monograms, a very British royal family! Cufflinks will give you the touch of beauty you need to adorn your person, and if they are discreet enough, you will have the opportunity to show off whether you peek or peek.